Hello all! Once again, I have updated ye-olde blog. Anyways, moving right into the first item of business, I need to give a shout-out to my oldest nephew. Little guy (well, he'll be taller than me in a few years) turns 9 today. Crazy...he's been in my life for almost a decade. Which also means I'm getting old...crap.
So...since my title says dating, all of you are now on the edge of your seats (or sitting a little more upright on your bed, whichever one it is) with anticipation. Well, it was a blind date to the homecoming dance. In the afternoon, we went to a little park and played boci ball. It was mobile boci ball, as in we moved every round. Very fun. I went to the football game on my own since...well, people had other plans and some just weren't interested in football.
going to a stadium by yourself is scary. Just because I know that there are the mega creepy guys on the prowl, looking for confused scared girls like me. I ended up finding people I know, but I didn't really talk to them...they were in their own little world. So, I watch the football game without anyone to talk to.
As much I as love to scream with joy...it sucks when you have to watch your team lose. 34-35. so close...So close...double overtime.
But what really was cool was watching the entire stadium stand up and scream, as we watched the whole game play out. It was aweinspiring. to watch a sea of blue scream and shout at the field below. And the football players kept urging us on to keep cheering. It was a moment I was proud to be a part of that.
After the game got out, we went to the dance. Now, it was supposed to be a '50's dance. Which would imply that they're playing 50's music. NOPE. it was either hip-hop/dirty dancing or country swing. Now, I like swing dancing. but...i got country-ed so fast.
Another thing that WAAY bothers me is that everyone does cotton-eyed joe WRONG! you do NOT do the Boot Scootin' Boogie to that song. You do the Cotton-Eyed Joe. Granted, I have to teach people, then have them teach others. But still. it's kinda common sense the Boot Scootin' boogie dance belongs to that song...
Oh, my date. Right. Well, it was fun. A lot of fun, and it was a blind date, so it was really good. No kissing (come on people. I'm not a first date kisser type) but we did hug. And he wanted to see me again. :) I think i can do this dating thing...
Monday, September 26, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Update 4: Quarters
Hello, all! Time for another round of updates from Nessa.
This week..lemme see...um...did homework...um...slept...wow, my life is boring Oh wait! Last week I went over to my friends house and played games! that was fun! Oh! and I helped make a music video with my friends. :) that should be good. Oh! And I played just dance 2 with some boys and we had a follow-up with smash bros...which i beat the boys at. :)
Well, besides the boring parts....y'know, I'm trying NOT to have a boring college life, but people don't seem to realize that I'd love to get out and fun. But then again, I feel bad for intruding on others lives.
So, I did laundry yesterday, and it was weird. I was using quarters, like this was a vending machine or something. And then I realized the disporprotionate ammount of quarters I have to the ammount of laundy I need to do. Where do you get a roll of quarters anyways?
Being lonely is a very strange emotion. The truth is, you aren't alone when you feel lonely. You feel lonely when you're surrounded by people...yet you feel like no one cares about you. And even though i know I'm never alone, I still feel it. but I'm grateful for a roomie who is willing to listen to me. About anything and everything.
Yet...
Yet i miss being with my old roomies. Just because I viewed us as friends first and foremorst, roommates seocond. But when I see them...I feel like they've forgotten about me. Like I was just a person who happened to be there for seven months. I see them having fun, without me, and it hurts a little. Because to me, it means they don't care enough to invite me over for anything. They don't care about me anymore. While I know that may not be the case, that's how if feels to me. And it's very hard to deal with sometimes. I was willing to be there for them, because they were willing to be there for me...at least, I thought they were.
It was one of my favorite things about last year, was that we did so much together. It was so much fun. And, for the first time, I felt like I was grown-up. Like I was important, my opinions mattered, and that I was treated as an equal, not an inferior.
Of course, it was too good to last, and I was treated less than an equal and more of just...I don't know. It wasn't very fun though. I trusted them so much. I trusted that they would be there for me just as I was for them. But I felt unneeded, unwanted. And why? I still don't know. Only they know, and even then, I doubt the answer would satsify my wounded heart. While I hate to use strong words, they betrayed my trust. I cared more about them than they cared about me. Is it true? I don't know. From my perspective, yes, yes it is. Too bad for them.
I hope though, I can move past this and feel better about things. Because being negative is not part of Nessa criteria.
This week..lemme see...um...did homework...um...slept...wow, my life is boring Oh wait! Last week I went over to my friends house and played games! that was fun! Oh! and I helped make a music video with my friends. :) that should be good. Oh! And I played just dance 2 with some boys and we had a follow-up with smash bros...which i beat the boys at. :)
Well, besides the boring parts....y'know, I'm trying NOT to have a boring college life, but people don't seem to realize that I'd love to get out and fun. But then again, I feel bad for intruding on others lives.
So, I did laundry yesterday, and it was weird. I was using quarters, like this was a vending machine or something. And then I realized the disporprotionate ammount of quarters I have to the ammount of laundy I need to do. Where do you get a roll of quarters anyways?
Being lonely is a very strange emotion. The truth is, you aren't alone when you feel lonely. You feel lonely when you're surrounded by people...yet you feel like no one cares about you. And even though i know I'm never alone, I still feel it. but I'm grateful for a roomie who is willing to listen to me. About anything and everything.
Yet...
Yet i miss being with my old roomies. Just because I viewed us as friends first and foremorst, roommates seocond. But when I see them...I feel like they've forgotten about me. Like I was just a person who happened to be there for seven months. I see them having fun, without me, and it hurts a little. Because to me, it means they don't care enough to invite me over for anything. They don't care about me anymore. While I know that may not be the case, that's how if feels to me. And it's very hard to deal with sometimes. I was willing to be there for them, because they were willing to be there for me...at least, I thought they were.
It was one of my favorite things about last year, was that we did so much together. It was so much fun. And, for the first time, I felt like I was grown-up. Like I was important, my opinions mattered, and that I was treated as an equal, not an inferior.
Of course, it was too good to last, and I was treated less than an equal and more of just...I don't know. It wasn't very fun though. I trusted them so much. I trusted that they would be there for me just as I was for them. But I felt unneeded, unwanted. And why? I still don't know. Only they know, and even then, I doubt the answer would satsify my wounded heart. While I hate to use strong words, they betrayed my trust. I cared more about them than they cared about me. Is it true? I don't know. From my perspective, yes, yes it is. Too bad for them.
I hope though, I can move past this and feel better about things. Because being negative is not part of Nessa criteria.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Weekly Update 3: I love watching football.
Okay, sorry for not updating sooner, but I wanted to give 9/11 the proper credit it deserves. Anyways, past weeks been good. Went to the Peach Days parade, came back, um...yeah, my life isn't very eventful.
But now I can talk about one of my favorite things of college: FOOTBALL!! Okay, this coming from the girl who spent her whole life hating sports because "they were dumb." So, to begin, at the beginning, of course, it wasn't looking good for the Aggies. 3 to 7. And by halftime, tied 17 to 17. I had my doubts we would win. However, Weber would never score again for the rest of the game.
Touchdown after touchdown. the fans going absolutely crazy. My vocal chords screaming in protest that I was screaming so loud. Yes...we just won. 54 to 17.
Sadly, i didn't bring my camera, but I will the next game. :)
I love college.
But now I can talk about one of my favorite things of college: FOOTBALL!! Okay, this coming from the girl who spent her whole life hating sports because "they were dumb." So, to begin, at the beginning, of course, it wasn't looking good for the Aggies. 3 to 7. And by halftime, tied 17 to 17. I had my doubts we would win. However, Weber would never score again for the rest of the game.
Touchdown after touchdown. the fans going absolutely crazy. My vocal chords screaming in protest that I was screaming so loud. Yes...we just won. 54 to 17.
Sadly, i didn't bring my camera, but I will the next game. :)
I love college.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
9/11...a decade ago
In many ways, it seems like a whole lifetime ago. I remember, I was in fourth grade, off-track. I woke up, and it was a beatutiful day. The sun was shining through my window. It wasn't until I went down stairs, where my parents were watching the t.v. There, I watched live footage of planes smashing into towers. and then, the towers collapsed in a plume of ash and dust. And then to hear the news that a plane had just crashed into the pentagon...my 9 year old mind didn't understand. What I saw did not register as real. This must be for a movie of some kind. Planes don't crash into buildings...I didn't know about terrorists or terrorism until then. But it was a world away from me.
I remember in the days and weeks that followed, all they could show was these plans crashing into buildins, over and over again, as if by doing so, they could mabye stop it. And I was tired of seeing this. "Everyone's seen this already. Stop showing it and lets move on to other news." But there was no other news...
Yet. I will never forget how America rallied together that day. Like December 7, a day similiar to 9/11, it was meant to crush our spirit, to show our enemies that we were the weaker nation.
both parties were wrong.
Our ancestors gave up their lives fighting for this country, and we were about to prove why we have won. Americans were united in purpose, prayer and duty. We wanted to find those responsible and amke them pay.
10 years later...I don't see the unitiy that once was there. It's replaced by the same callous attitude we had before. We blame the government, blah blah blah, and we aren't as united anymore. But we should be united, more than ever. We are the UNITED States of American after all.
I remember my senior year in high school, when the anniversary rolled around, I felt like I was the only one being patriotic. I was wearing red, white and blue because I wanted, in my small way, to show my respect for the men and women who gave their lives that day. It felt like everyone else was treating it as just another day.
The people I feel bad for now are the people, like my nieces and nephews who have to grow up learning about what happened at such a young age. I wonder if they'll believe us when we tell them what happened. Where we were on that day. Will they look at us like we're crazy? When they see the footage of the Twin Towers going down, will they scoff, and say that was done digitally?
But they need to know. They need to know that the country they still live in is now, and forever, the land of the free, and the home of the brave.
I remember in the days and weeks that followed, all they could show was these plans crashing into buildins, over and over again, as if by doing so, they could mabye stop it. And I was tired of seeing this. "Everyone's seen this already. Stop showing it and lets move on to other news." But there was no other news...
Yet. I will never forget how America rallied together that day. Like December 7, a day similiar to 9/11, it was meant to crush our spirit, to show our enemies that we were the weaker nation.
both parties were wrong.
Our ancestors gave up their lives fighting for this country, and we were about to prove why we have won. Americans were united in purpose, prayer and duty. We wanted to find those responsible and amke them pay.
10 years later...I don't see the unitiy that once was there. It's replaced by the same callous attitude we had before. We blame the government, blah blah blah, and we aren't as united anymore. But we should be united, more than ever. We are the UNITED States of American after all.
I remember my senior year in high school, when the anniversary rolled around, I felt like I was the only one being patriotic. I was wearing red, white and blue because I wanted, in my small way, to show my respect for the men and women who gave their lives that day. It felt like everyone else was treating it as just another day.
The people I feel bad for now are the people, like my nieces and nephews who have to grow up learning about what happened at such a young age. I wonder if they'll believe us when we tell them what happened. Where we were on that day. Will they look at us like we're crazy? When they see the footage of the Twin Towers going down, will they scoff, and say that was done digitally?
But they need to know. They need to know that the country they still live in is now, and forever, the land of the free, and the home of the brave.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Looking at Life
I don't know why, but I'm feeling...sort of like I'm missing something in my life. Like something that once was there is gone. Only I don't know what it is exactly. I just feel like there's this void. Like...maybe someone is missing.
It's not my mom, though. I cry whenever I miss her most.
Maybe I'm lonely and i don't realize it. Maybe I'm just looking at living life and not actually doing it. But it's my life. I should live it how i want to. Yet...it doesn't feel totally right. It feels...too lonely.
I guess I'm a social person. I love talking. But I think, deep down, it stems from being alone so much as a child. Sure, it was good. I can entertain myself when I'm home alone. But when I had the chance to talk, it was like, I had to get all of it out all at once. I want to be heard. I want to be known. I want my voice heard. And I want to know, above all, that someone cares enough to listen.
Stuffed animals and Barbies don't make the best listeners. Because their responses are what you want to hear. not what you need to hear. Not only that, but talking to yourself is deemed kinda crazy.
Maybe when I see people having fun, I feel entitled to have that same fun. And be with those people at the same time. Aren't I their friends? Do I not say, "Hey, text me sometime?" which means, invite me to fun stuff you do? It should be obvious that I want to come along for the fun. To get out and do...something besides nothing! I want to be included. I want to be loved.
How do I start living life again, not just looking at it, wanting it to be mine?
It's not my mom, though. I cry whenever I miss her most.
Maybe I'm lonely and i don't realize it. Maybe I'm just looking at living life and not actually doing it. But it's my life. I should live it how i want to. Yet...it doesn't feel totally right. It feels...too lonely.
I guess I'm a social person. I love talking. But I think, deep down, it stems from being alone so much as a child. Sure, it was good. I can entertain myself when I'm home alone. But when I had the chance to talk, it was like, I had to get all of it out all at once. I want to be heard. I want to be known. I want my voice heard. And I want to know, above all, that someone cares enough to listen.
Stuffed animals and Barbies don't make the best listeners. Because their responses are what you want to hear. not what you need to hear. Not only that, but talking to yourself is deemed kinda crazy.
Maybe when I see people having fun, I feel entitled to have that same fun. And be with those people at the same time. Aren't I their friends? Do I not say, "Hey, text me sometime?" which means, invite me to fun stuff you do? It should be obvious that I want to come along for the fun. To get out and do...something besides nothing! I want to be included. I want to be loved.
How do I start living life again, not just looking at it, wanting it to be mine?
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Weekly Update Two: Woes of Math
Hello, all! Today I'm writing from the comfort of my home. :) Well, it would be a LOT more comfortable if I didn't have so much stupid Math to do.
Before I start ranting about how much I hate math, allow me to recap this week: Holy Cow this week was long. It seemed like every day dragged. Friday took forever to get here. However, my classes were good, and I'm looking forward to this sememster (minus math homework)
My roommies this year are wonderful. While it wasn't the same as last year where we all clicked right off the bat, we've got a nice bond so far. I think we'll be good friends for sure.
Let's see, what did I do with my newfound freedom since I got my key? Well, I've spent time with some old friends from last year, spent a long time reading books, some of which are as boring as tar. Went to villiage inn for my roommate's birthday party, and so far, living on my own is going great.
Now for my favorite part...ranting >:)
So, math brings out the worst in me. I become a raging, snarling, angry beast. All problems become blown up to the size of the galaxy and I work myself into a tizzy. And then I can't do math homework, even though I want to so I can get it done. Because once it's done, I can forget about it. Well, I wish. I do have to pass the tests...
This year I'm doing it on a computer. It's a new system, supposedly designed to help kids who aren't good at math taught in a traditional setting. At this point, I'm kind of preferring the old system. Because if I screw up, at least I can erase my answer before I turn it. This computerized system...I make one little mistake...one teeny tiny insignificant mistake...when it's a freakin' computer and it should be able to know what I mean...yeah, I'm mad. Also, I have a certain ammount of mistakes I can make before it boots me back into practice.
I dont' want to do practice anymore. I want to do the stupid math homework, get it right, and GET IT DONE!
I hate math because it's so..precise. There's no wriggle room. And it makes me work. Yeah, that probably most of all. The thing is, I get it in class. And then...when I go do homework...it turns into alphabet and math soup and it's written in...greek i guess. Yeah, they use greek in math.
anyways, allow me to have a moment of complete and totally anger.
A;KLJFKLASJKAS;LTKLASHRKASJFK;LAFKLSAHFSALRJKLADFJKASLFJSAKL FJIO I HATE MATH!!!
Ah...much better
Before I start ranting about how much I hate math, allow me to recap this week: Holy Cow this week was long. It seemed like every day dragged. Friday took forever to get here. However, my classes were good, and I'm looking forward to this sememster (minus math homework)
My roommies this year are wonderful. While it wasn't the same as last year where we all clicked right off the bat, we've got a nice bond so far. I think we'll be good friends for sure.
Let's see, what did I do with my newfound freedom since I got my key? Well, I've spent time with some old friends from last year, spent a long time reading books, some of which are as boring as tar. Went to villiage inn for my roommate's birthday party, and so far, living on my own is going great.
Now for my favorite part...ranting >:)
So, math brings out the worst in me. I become a raging, snarling, angry beast. All problems become blown up to the size of the galaxy and I work myself into a tizzy. And then I can't do math homework, even though I want to so I can get it done. Because once it's done, I can forget about it. Well, I wish. I do have to pass the tests...
This year I'm doing it on a computer. It's a new system, supposedly designed to help kids who aren't good at math taught in a traditional setting. At this point, I'm kind of preferring the old system. Because if I screw up, at least I can erase my answer before I turn it. This computerized system...I make one little mistake...one teeny tiny insignificant mistake...when it's a freakin' computer and it should be able to know what I mean...yeah, I'm mad. Also, I have a certain ammount of mistakes I can make before it boots me back into practice.
I dont' want to do practice anymore. I want to do the stupid math homework, get it right, and GET IT DONE!
I hate math because it's so..precise. There's no wriggle room. And it makes me work. Yeah, that probably most of all. The thing is, I get it in class. And then...when I go do homework...it turns into alphabet and math soup and it's written in...greek i guess. Yeah, they use greek in math.
anyways, allow me to have a moment of complete and totally anger.
A;KLJFKLASJKAS;LTKLASHRKASJFK;LAFKLSAHFSALRJKLADFJKASLFJSAKL FJIO I HATE MATH!!!
Ah...much better
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)